


Inkiheteroyo

by hypegirl, iuwui, Wacko_Azimuth



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (for now) - Freeform, ; we die like men, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Chair But Make It Electric, Comedy, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Group chat, Idiots in Love, Implied Chenji, Karl Marx Oppar, M/M, Not Beta Read, OT6 Dream + Yangyang, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, almost, characters may be added, chatfic, commitment issues, implied nomin, mentions of other Idols
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:15:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24711436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypegirl/pseuds/hypegirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/iuwui/pseuds/iuwui, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wacko_Azimuth/pseuds/Wacko_Azimuth
Summary: Meet Zhong Chenle. He’s 179 centimeters of bad ideas, who has a new crush every three hours but has never been in love. He is also the admin of a new group chat. One that he accidentally created. What could possibly go wrong?(A lot of things, apparently.)Alternative title: Six Raging Homosexuals and Their Friend Yangyang----------------------------This is basically the product of 3.5 ‘authors’ getting together and accidentally writing a chatfic through an elaborately planned game of pretend. Trufaxx.!! DISCONTINUED (but readable. Every chapter is self contained) !!
Comments: 16
Kudos: 29





	1. [It Begins]

**Author's Note:**

> Characters (in order of appearance):
> 
> * Zhong Chenle - communisteth  
> * Lee Donghyuck - hyuck_hyuck_goose  
> * Liu Yangyang - sheep²  
> * Huang Renjun - moomin_but_make_it_murderous  
> * Lee Jeno - jemanyjams  
> * Na Jaemin - jaemjaeminajaem  
> * Park Jisung - sing.sang.sung
> 
> (Title taken from the popular South Korean music show, Inkigayo.)
> 
> -iuwui
> 
> ——————————————
> 
> hi! i feel like we should explain our writing process a bit. after a bit of analysis into our own writing/typing styles each one of us took on a few characters to control in the chatfic. hence the different sort of vibes you get from each character. we’re writing this (as Wacko very eloquently said) in ‘real-time’, basically having conversations in one group chat and in dm’s to form a story. a gigantic ‘thank you’ to our girl @im_soft_ok, the aforementioned “.5” who helped us A LOT through planning this mess. 
> 
> -hype

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sing.sang.sung: what does a foot kink even entail
> 
> sheep²: ties??
> 
> hyuck_hyuck_goose: hetero bottom with bondage issues??
> 
> sheep²: NO I MEANT TOES
> 
> moomin_but_make_it_murderous: Shitting on Jaemin's shoes, apparently.
> 
> jaemjaeminajaem: im hiding my shoes brb

**[03:18 AM]**

**  
  
communisteth:**

ok ok hear me put  
*out  
so when u see a conventionally attractive person tm and it’s like flight or fight

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

can you save this conversation for later i’m in the middle of something rn

**communisteth:**

anyways i accidentally punched my barista today

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

what the fuck is wrong with you

**sheep²** :

why am i here

**communisteth:**

why r any of us here  
just to suffer

_[seen by **hyuck_hyuck_goose** , **sheep²** and **2** more]_

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

To suffer you, it would seem.  
Is this another one of your topical chats?  
We could have just, uh, repurposed... one of the other 3 or so.

**jemanyjams** :

wait wait wait wait wait  
was it the cute guy from the corner cafe???  
😂😂😂

**communisteth:**

shUT

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

you guys really had a whole conversation w/o me (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

**sheep²** :

yeah uhhh why was i added to this

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

you have been chosen  
prepare to die

**communisteth:**

how come jaemin always uses these damn emojis  
like “(⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)” sir use the English language

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

(ง'̀-'́)ง

**sing.sang.sung:**

who are you guys

**communisteth:**

who are u

**sing.sang.sung:**

no who are you

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

jisUNG

**sing.sang.sung:**

oh no. why is he here¿

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

AHHHHH HOW ARE YOU WITTLE BABY  
YOU USED TO BE A WEE LAD

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

oh THIS is jisung

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

FLUFFY TINY BABY BOY

**jemanyjams** :

I thought he was the cool Jisung

**sing.sang.sung:**

how do i leave this chat

**communisteth:**

u don’t

**sing.sang.sung:**

who are the rest of you

**communisteth:**

okay but like can we talk about the barista  
i think i died

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

I WANNA HEARRRRRR

**communisteth:**

no person should legally allowed to look that good

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

ELABORATE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**sing.sang.sung:**

lenny is dead

**communisteth:**

@jaemjaeminajaem u left me on seen

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

did i  
did i really

**sheep²** :

i am once again here to ask why i am here

**sing.sang.sung:**

@sheep to the second power because my keyboard doesn’t do that who are you

**communisteth:**

well shit there was a cute guy who gave me my hot chocolate and then my soul left my body and i tripped and he had to get me a new drink  
yes i drink hot chocolate shut up

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

ok which coffee shop i wanna see him too ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

**jemanyjams** :

the singular cafe on this godforsaken campus

**sheep²** :

yh i think i’m in the same class as jeno??  
but it’s a singular class

**sing.sang.sung:**

which one of you is jeno

**jemanyjams** :

mememememe

**sing.sang.sung:**

oh hello have we met in real life

**jemanyjams** :

depends  
are you Han Jisung?

**sing.sang.sung:**

no i’m park jisung sorry

**sheep²** :

like legit why am i in here

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

you were chosen by the overlords @sheepkid :) accept it

**communisteth:**

@jaemjaeminajaem no this boy is mine

**sheep²** :

nooooooo please i have a wife and kids

**sing.sang.sung:**

wait im a freshman what are you people

**communisteth:**

yes fellow freshie

**jemanyjams** :

cooler than you, i guess, if you around Chonlo

**sing.sang.sung:**

WAIT @COMMIE WHO ARE YOU  
chonlo  
is @commie chonlo

**sheep²** :

i guess i’m stuck here for the time being so sup i’m yangyang

**sing.sang.sung:**

i never met anyone named that

**jemanyjams** :

the commie spy is Chonlo

**communisteth:**

for the last time, jeno, stop being salty because i killed you

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

hello yangyang !!! welcome :DD i’m jaemin but you  
you can call me whenever you want

**sing.sang.sung:**

idk who you are but greasy

**communisteth:**

it’s chenle but hi jisung

**sing.sang.sung:**

uh hi chenle i’m jisung  
oh wait you already know that

**sheep²** :

dude i’m flattered but i’m pretty much heteroshrekxual

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

yall went and had a full ass conversation without me

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

oh that’s not a problem ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) @sheep

**sing.sang.sung:**

delete me

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

ew jaemin stop being greasy there are minors here

**sheep²** :

i’m saving myself for marriage

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

you are irrelevant

**communisteth:**

AYO VIRGIN CHECK

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

NOT YOU YANGYANG SWEETIE I MEANT HYUCK

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

gee thanks

**jemanyjams** :

yo, Jaem, weren't we an item?

**sing.sang.sung:**

are you trying to imply that the rest of y’all aren’t virgins  
excuse me i have to go pray now

**communisteth:**

whoops sorry josung  
JISUN  
***JISUNG

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

eye-  
jeno can this not happen here

**sing.sang.sung:**

wot

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

where is renjun  
you guys are dry

**sheep²** :

excuse me

**sing.sang.sung:**

who is renjun

**jemanyjams** :

leaving us all in visto again, probs

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

im going to pretend i understood that message

_[seen by **moomin_but_make_it_murderous** ]_

**jemanyjams** :

yup, he is

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

RENJUN  
RENJUN BBY COME HERE LET ME HUG YOU

**sheep²** :

YO MOOMIN WAS MY CHILDHOOD

**communisteth:**

ew what is this polygamy

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

it don’t count as polygamy if he doesn’t love me bACK

**communisteth:**

jisung please save me

**sing.sang.sung:**

get me out of here

**sheep²** :

wait didnt you just meet-

**sing.sang.sung:**

what do you want me to do here son

**communisteth:**

save me save me  
i need ur love before i fall

**sing.sang.sung:**

doo doo doo do do do do do

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

didn’t who just meet?

**sheep²** :

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

Your new boyfriends 🥰🥰

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

i’ve claimed him already hes mine

**sheep²** :

am strictly straight.

**communisteth:**

no one asked, het

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

I'm about as lost as you, Jisung.

**sing.sang.sung:**

jaemin forgive me for being rude here but haven’t you already claimed half this chat

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

irrelevant i will claim whoever i want

**sheep²** :

hold on this isn’t fair numbers i want some friends in here

**communisteth:**

ur friends are dead

**sing.sang.sung:**

chenle

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Jaemin here is giving Ten from the dance department a run for his money.

**communisteth:**

@jaem do u want me  
sike

**sing.sang.sung:**

[sent 1 spotify link; Save Me by BTS on Spotify]

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

hold on you know ten??  
nevermind that’s renjun

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

@comminuegstwuejrje no u have cooties

**communisteth:**

how dare u disrespect karl marx and shakespeare  
u capitalist hater of the arts  
u probably have a stock market college fund 🤢🤢

**sing.sang.sung:**

are you actually a communist

**sheep²** :

i am feeling a little attacked

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

sheep come here let me give you a hug

**communisteth:**

** <https://youtu.be/jvkUXT0pMYE>  
**

**Britney Spears - U.S.S.R. National Anthem**   
_This one's for you, Comrade Britney._

**sheep²** :

dude

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

noT ANOTHER ONE

**jemanyjams** :

that's Injun's jam!

**communisteth:**

i know renjun is literally my sibling

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

No! The version without the vulgar blonde, thank you.

**sing.sang.sung:**

[sent 1 spotify link: I Think I Might Kill Myself by Cameron Philip on Spotify]

**communisteth:**

it’s britney bitch  
WAIT NO DON’T KILL URSELF JISUNG WHAT

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

JISUNG HONEY NO

**sing.sang.sung:**

IM SORRY IT WAS A JOKE  
VERY BADLY TIMED AND HORRIBLY EXECUTED  
no i only know that one song  
whos cameron philip

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

How and why did you get the kid in here, Zhong?

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

so one of y’all is an army... and the other one watches cameron philip... which is basically being an army...

**sheep²** :

dude does anyone want to join my minecraft server

**communisteth:**

no what minecraft is dead

**jemanyjams** :

me ✌🏻

**sheep²** :

AYYYYY  
wait who are you again

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

that’s jeno

**jemanyjams** :

who loves Jaemin

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

loml but also not because i have commitment issues :)

**sheep²** :

jeno and jaemin and... goose boy?

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

it’s donghyuck but you can call me anytime ;)

**jemanyjams** :

thought you were the 4th one already @2sheep 😉

**sing.sang.sung:**

wow you guys have issues

**communisteth:**

deadass

**sing.sang.sung:**

chenle do you want to run away

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Don't give him ideas kid. He's the one that made this mess in the first place.

**sheep²** :

i mean i’m down for an open relationship

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

and another straight boy goes down due to the power of na jaemin

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

hee hee

**communisteth:**

i did not create this group chat  
i don’t even know half of u ppl

**sing.sang.sung:**

who did then  
cant be me idk anyone

**jemanyjams** :

what do you look like @Yixing?  
gotta know if you fit our aesthetic

**communisteth:**

jisung please lets run away and be armys

**sheep²** :

who is yixing  
i only know jackson wang from china

**jemanyjams** :

The Sheep

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

wow chenle our here making moves like barista boy dont even exist (つ .•́ _ʖ

•̀.)つ

**jemanyjams** :

oh true 😬  
we here for the teas. spill it bitch

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

my emoticon got screwed up  
maybe i’ll go normie and start using real people emojis

**communisteth:**

barista boy holds a special place in my heart

**sing.sang.sung:**

who..?

**sheep²** :

uhhh wait hold up lemme get a selfie

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

is jisung jealous  
AM I READING THIS SITUATION RIGHT ???

**sheep²** :  


**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

Jesus Christ this guy must get the koreaboos

**sheep²** :

...i’m chinese

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

ooh i do not regret the pick up line

**sheep²** :

sir

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

don’t mind jaemin we all get used to him

**sing.sang.sung:**

what ew

**jemanyjams** :

😲  
not bad

**communisteth:**

yangyang if i were a girl i would jump u

**sheep²** :

i feel threatened

**jemanyjams** :

yea, feel free to join whenever

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

jeno.. eye... [WASTED]

**sing.sang.sung:**

chenle are you straight or what

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

introducing chenle, the one who has a new crush every thirty minutes

**sing.sang.sung:**

whoops did not mean to be that blunt  
scuse me *backs away into shadows*

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Jeno Lee, you might try and use those abs to pick up some actual girls one of these days.

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

girls are overrated

**:chenle**

guys and girls are both great tm  
bi with a side of disastre

**jemanyjams** :

wait  
who's Chenle?

**:chenle**

why did my display name just change  
oh no what have i done

**sheep²** :

your body rejected the communism  
welcome plebian

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

oh rip @commie

**communisteth:**

we’re back binches

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

oh

**sing.sang.sung:**

how did that even happen

**communisteth:**

u cant kill me

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

ask renjun

**sing.sang.sung:**

anyways sorry that was a weird question

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

maybe we should all just come out here for clarification

**communisteth:**

r u (whispers)  
r u like (possibly into guys)  
not u jaemin i already know ur a gay whore

**sing.sang.sung:**

(uh sure idk)

**jemanyjams** :

I'm gay for Jaemin but open for everyone 😌

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

🙄

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

excuse me what am i

**communisteth:**

sad because u have a crush on a straight 😂😂

**sing.sang.sung:**

i am just Confused

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

shut up i don’t like him anymoreeee

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

oh hyuck still likes the that kid????

**communisteth:**

AHA. SO U DID LIKE HIM.

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

this is cyBERBULLYING

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Wasn't that your specialty? @hyuk

**sheep²** :

oh wig fill me in

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

is he a senior or did he graduate or is he a junior i’m bad at math

**sing.sang.sung:**

who are we talking about

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

shut up renjun or else i’ll

**sing.sang.sung:**

who is mystery straight

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

NO ONE

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

wow i scrolled so fast i didn’t even realize jeno got greasy for a second there  
maybe i am rubbing off on him  
i am Conflicted

**communisteth:**

mark lee. he leads youth church worship and is the biggest virgin of all fucking time.

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

i hate him and his cheekbones

**sheep²** :

isn’t there a very fine line between love and hate?

**sing.sang.sung:**

oh him!

**communisteth:**

hey the new hetero might be into somethibn  
**onto Something

**sing.sang.sung:**

i know mark !!

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

damn lost his ability to spell and everything  
barista boy must have messed him up good

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Mark Lee, the one who has a finger on every department?

**communisteth:**

@jaemin i am coming for you and shitting in your left shoes

**sing.sang.sung:**

yeah he was in my dance class! isn’t he a junior?

**sheep²** :

geez i’m not even the one being threatened and i’m terrified

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

@commie no ♡︎

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

why the left foot especially

**jemanyjams** :

kinky

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

CHENLE LEFT FOOT KINK CONFIRMED

**sing.sang.sung:**

what  
what is this

**communisteth:**

NO

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

im no longer worried about my shoes wtf chenle you’re like two

**communisteth:**

I DON’T HAVE A FOOT KINK

**communisteth:**   


**sing.sang.sung:**

what does a foot kink even entail

**sheep²** :

ties??

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

hetero bottom with bondage issues??

**sheep²** :

NO I MEANT TOES

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Shitting on Jaemin's shoes, apparently.

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

im hiding my shoes brb

**sing.sang.sung:**

I THOUGHT YOU MEANT THE TIES THAT YOU LIKE WEAR ON SHIRTS JESUS

**communisteth:**

i do not have a foot kink @jisung please u believe me right

**jemanyjams** :

the kid hasn't been indoctrinated yet  
he don't count

**sing.sang.sung:**

indoctrinated???  
also chenle idek what a foot kink is so i guess?

**communisteth:**

THANK U JISUNG I OWE U MY LIFE

**sing.sang.sung:**

uh ok no problem chenle

**sheep²** :

who’s the one using big words again

**jemanyjams** :

brainwashed into the service of the commie party @jisung

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

jeno i’ve never heard you say more than 5 words at once what has this chat done

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

since when was jeno funny?

**sheep²** :

i’m sorry jeno rip

**jemanyjams** :

i guess Injun's actually rubbing off on me

**communisteth:**

ooOOoOoOoOo  
iNJUNNIEEEEEE~~

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

hopefully not literally

**sing.sang.sung:**

can we please get this injun kid away from jeno asap the big words are scary

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

I refuse to be associated with the beefbrain here

**sheep²** :

oh to be jared, 19

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

that was a little rude renjun (つ .•́ _ʖ •̀.)つ

**jemanyjams** :

yea, why the hate tho injunnie  
aren't we like bros and all?

**sheep²** :

oh yeah jaemin definitely has commitment issues  
who hurt u

**communisteth:**

capitalism

**sheep²** :

i didn’t mean that-

**sing.sang.sung:**

can we please just have everyone’s names once and for all i’m so confused

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

what’s the fun of commitment  
you have to fuck the same person for the rest of your goddamn life

**communisteth:**

socialism for the win and that’s on vladimir

**sing.sang.sung:**

wtf

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Too Mark Lee-ish for Jaemin. He wouldn’t tolerate it

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

jaemin doesn’t like talking about feelings

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

feelings are overrated :)

**communisteth:**

u need a boyfriend

**jemanyjams** :

I'm available

**sing.sang.sung:**

sir you need therapy

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

sorry i need to go walk my cactus

**sheep²** :

uhhh wait sorry jisung i think i have it- communist: Chenle  
moomin: Renjun  
hyuck: goose?? am not sure  
jemanyjams: jemanyjams  
jdaidoskdakao: jaemin  
sing: sung

**sing.sang.sung:**

bro is jaemin just oblivious or something  
oh thank you yangyang!!!

**sheep²** :

yeah no problem

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

THE NAME IS DONGHYUCK. DONGHYUCK LEE.

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Or Full Sun if you're principal Lee

**communisteth:**

*pulls out gun*

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

someday young padawans i will explain to you all the love cycle of this group chat

**communisteth:**

the name’s bond. jaemin has commitment issues due to a the lack of healthy relationships growing up bond.

**sing.sang.sung:**

three different conversations are happening at the same time

**sheep²** :

what

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

oof didn’t need to come for me that hard

**jemanyjams** :

always ignore Chonlo @jisung

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

not all of us have loving mothers and fathers

**communisteth:**

no please jisung i love u

**jemanyjams** :

did you? @hyuk

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

ignore jisung we all do

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

it wasn’t my parents fault that i’m fucked up in the head

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Finally admitted it.

**sing.sang.sung:**

i don’t want to ignore him tho hes nice

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

@jenny why do you use the korean korean romanization

**communisteth:**

jeno is negative cool

**sing.sang.sung:**

oh lord

**jemanyjams** :

seriously, can you pronounce his name?

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

please don’t insult jeno it hurts my heart,,,

**jemanyjams** :

Jae... Jaemin, is that you?

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

NO

**communisteth:**

the name’s bond. jeno deflects onto other people and makes fun of them because he was bullied and now his not so hidden insecurities manifest in friendly jesting bond.

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

MY PHONE GOT HACKED

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Jeno's insecurities manifest in his chest, arms and abdominal muscles...

**sheep²** :

i’m scared of chenle

**sing.sang.sung:**

chenle seems pretty harmless to me ngl

**communisteth:**

jaemin you liar  
boys imma simp

**sheep²** :

what about café boy

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

i’ll put your ramen recipe on the dark web stfu hoe

**communisteth:**

no u wouldn’t because u don’t know three of the ingredients

**sing.sang.sung:**

what is simp

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

ha yes i do it’s ramen and  
and

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

café boy is felix from australia

**sheep²** :

FELIX?!

**jemanyjams** :

Felix 🤩

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

oh him?

**sheep²** :

we were making fun of him all last night

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

i think i made out with him once  
shit can i unsend messages on this ap  
 ***** app

**communisteth:**

no

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

🙄

**sing.sang.sung:**

wot

**sheep²** :

no but felix was talking about a boy with orange hair  
does chenle have orange hair

**sing.sang.sung:**

does anyone here have orange hair

**communisteth:**

i dyed

**sing.sang.sung:**

chenle send a selfie

**communisteth:**

betrayal  
u send one first

**sing.sang.sung:**

no you first

**[03:57 AM]**

**sing.sang.sung:**

hello

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

bitch is probably looking for the one good picture of himself

**communisteth:**

that’s it i’m using the one with u

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

eeEeeEEEEe

**communisteth:**   


**sheep²** :

well now i feel unattractive

**sing.sang.sung:**

which one are you

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

take a wild fucking guess jisung

**sing.sang.sung:**

THIS IS NOT FAIR I CANNOT SEE WITH THE SUNGLASSES.  
oh orange hair i am clown

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

damn i look good

**sheep²** :

felix good job mate

**communisteth:**

actually i hate this hair  
should i redye it

**sing.sang.sung:**

chenle just take a picture of urself right now i wish to actually see ur eyes

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

someone tell me i’m reading this wrong

**communisteth:**

no u

**sing.sang.sung:**

is that a challenge

**communisteth:**

yes send selfie

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

my shipping senses are going OFF

**sing.sang.sung:**

ugh ok chenle hold on.

wait @hyuck_hyuck_goose can you even ship real people

**communisteth:**

well

**sheep²** :

you guys are insane

**communisteth:**

*gay

**sheep²** :

insanely gay

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

we been knew

**sing.sang.sung:**

this is me i look depressed

**sing.sang.sung:**   


**sing.sang.sung:**

maybe i should actually smile in pictures

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

oh he cute but like in the way that makes me want to hug the fucking life out of you and bake you a cake or something

**sing.sang.sung:**

thanks? but no thanks

**communisteth:**

well fuck

**communisteth:**   


**sing.sang.sung:**

someone tell me how to interpret that reaction

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

he gay gay

**sheep²** :  


**sheep²:**

no homo

**sing.sang.sung:**

**sing.sang.sung:**

sorry let’s try that again

**sing.sang.sung:**

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

*gay silence*

**communisteth:**

haa  
goodbye felix our not relationship was beautiful while it lasted

**sing.sang.sung:**

wait what happened to felix i thought you liked him !!

**communisteth:**

h  
  


**jaemjaeminajaem:**

what if i just sat back and let these two blithering idiots figure their homosexual selves out

**sheep²** :

oh he clueless clueless

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

SO WHAT DID I MISS

**sing.sang.sung:**

excuse me i need a moment

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

*hisses* losers

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

oh is that screaming i hear all the way from the freshman dorms  
wonder who that could be

**sheep²** :

how does somebody sound that loud

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

hyuck the children are gay what do we do

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

enjoy it

**sing.sang.sung:**

ok i’m back :D sorry there was just something i needed to take care of  
chenle i think the orange hair suits you !

**sheep²** :

where’s chenle

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

*slow claps*

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

(was the screaming chenle or jisung)

**jemanyjams** :

wait wait wait wait wait  
Chono, tell the damn Felix story before you go follow your next catch

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

It's Beat Ten Week!

**communisteth:**

i already told you

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

*Beat Ten's Record Week

**jemanyjams** :

yea, that didn't sound too good Injunnie

**communisteth:**

i went to the coffee shop as one does and i wanted a hot chocolate so i ordered the hot chocolate but the guy at the counter was really cute so i jumbled up my name and then i got an order for chan and so i went and got it and he SMILED at me and it pierced right through my weak gay heart and i dropped the cup and it shattered on the floor and he helped pick it up and our hands brushed and he offered me another hot chocolate but i was too embarrassed so i just sprinted out of there and now i want to die

felix if ur reading this I’m sorry

**jemanyjams** :

didn’t you say you punched the barista?  
Felix IS the barista

**communisteth:**

i didn’t punch felix, i punched eric  
get your freshie names correct, jeno

**jemanyjams:**

you never mentioned any Eric...

**sing.sang.sung:**

who is eric  
why don’t i know anyone

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

*sigh*  
Let me get this straight.  
Chenle, you created a 4th or 5th GC, added Liu Yangyang and the poor benighted kid to get scarred for life, just to mention you touched the Paris Baguette guy's hand and punched Eric Sohn out of the blue?

BTW, hello Jisung, Yangyang. I'm Renjun.

**sing.sang.sung:**

hello renjun you already seem more sane than the rest of them

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Not for long. Not for long...

**jemanyjams** :

you only look down from your paintings to be a meanie, don't you Injunnie?

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Since when are you on Chenle's side...? 🤨

**jemanyjams** :

...

btw, how do you know Sheepboi's last name?

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous:**

I think we're on the same PE classes

And I observe...

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

what have i missed  
i just tried to climb up the stairs four at a time and such pain has never been felt

_[seen by **hyuck_hyuck_goose** , **moomin_but_make_it_murderous** and **1** more]_

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

im being left on rEad @yangyang come back you were nice

**sheep²** :

wait what

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

it worked!

**communisteth:**

do u ever like have to play the piano but then it feels greasy so you don’t play the piano  
seriously what are people here doing with the pianos

**sing.sang.sung:**

what the piano is greasy  
why

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

i feel like it’s better if that question goes unanswered

**communisteth:**

you know how in the maillard building they have the practice rooms with the pianos. the ones that people use to make out

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

o too late

**communisteth:**

i do not see it

**sing.sang.sung:**

my virgin eyes

**sheep²** :

ew dude i was composing there a couple nights ago

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

imagine composing could NOT be me

**sheep²** :

it’s not that hard honestly  
thank you chenle for reminding me to practice for orchestra

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

is that a flex i see  
goddamn these asians

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

imagine playing an instrument could NOT be me

**communisteth:**

donghyuck i regret to inform u

**sing.sang.sung:**

arent we all asian

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

i am a disappointment above all

**sheep²** :

cool it edgelord

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

i think this is the longest i’ve gone without using an emoticon ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

**communisteth:**

(*☻-☻*)

**sing.sang.sung:**

what IS that

**sheep²** :

wait why do you guys have japanese keyboards

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

y’all are dry when will jeno get on  
JENO

**sheep²** :

do you even speak japanese

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

renjun does

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

i’ve changed my mind sheep boy is irrelevant yet again

**jemanyjams:**

my love has summoned me?!

**communisteth:**

jaemin is the literal definition of hot and cold

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

👁👄👁

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

oh god they’re being affectionate again i’m leaving

**jemanyjams:**

yea, i think Injun speaks Japanese  
reads manga at least 🤷🏻♂

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

(y’all is jeno ok)  
(like irl he doesn’t talk and now he out here calling me “my love” like wtf character development)

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

no you dumb bitch he’s literally in love with you

_[seen by **jaemjaeminajaem** ]_

**sheep²** :

HOLY FUCK DID ANYONE ELSE HEAR THAT POP

**sing.sang.sung:**

WHAT

**sheep²** :

WHO THE FUCK GOT FIRECRACKERS ON CAMPUS

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Must be Chenle again

**communisteth:**

not me but that sounds fun

**sing.sang.sung:**

i thought those were gunshots

**sheep²** :

damn  
i feel like jisung needs a hug

**sing.sang.sung:**

im good thanks

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Should we go with some Band-Aids kid?

**communisteth:**

*gives jisung head pat*

**sing.sang.sung:**

pats ! *seal clap*

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

woAh did y’all hear that one

**jemanyjams:**

i'm on the track field so no  
what is it?

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

What are you even doing there at ass o'clock in the morning?

**jemanyjams:**

...

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

someone got firecrackers  
or a gun  
we don’t know

**jemanyjams** :

@commie spy must be trying to start the takeover

**sing.sang.sung:**

he wouldn’t do that  
he just said it wasn’t him

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Yup. I think the kid's banging his head quite hard  
😬

**sing.sang.sung:**

that sounds violent

_**communisteth** changed their display name_

**ᶜʰᵉⁿᵍᵘⁱⁿ:**

the life i live is a sad one

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

rip @commie  
that’s actually kind of a cute name. i refuse to acknowledge it

_**chenguin** changed their display name_

**sing.sang.sung:**

what’s happening to chenle

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous** :

Multiple Personality Disorder

**ᶜʰᵉⁿᵍᵘⁱⁿ:**

am sad now

**sing.sang.sung:**

chenle that’s

**ᶜʰᵉⁿᵍᵘⁱⁿ:**

am tiny

**sing.sang.sung:**

that’s so cute you’re ᴛɪɴʏ  
why do small letters affect me in such a way  
if you need me i’ll be chilling in the dumpster ✌️

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

gay  
jisung is a homosexual kids we’re taking you to hell with us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me if you find any typos/formatting errors
> 
> -hype


	2. [Interlude: Boy Meets Other Boy]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [private chat between jaemjaeminajaem and communisteth]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like a lot of these dm’s are gonna be crack chapters 
> 
> -hype (again)

**[04:06 AM]**

**communisteth:**

jaemin help why is he so depressingly attractive

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

IVE BEEN WAITING

**communisteth:**

no wait

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

FOR A DAY LIKE THIS TO COME STRUCK LIKE LIGHTNING MY HEART’S BEATING LIKE A DRUM

**communisteth:**

goodbye will be playing piano and ignored you

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

ON THE EDGE OF SOMETHING WONDERFULLLL


	3. [Blood, Simps, and Tearing (People To Shreds)]

**ᶜ ʰ ᵉ ⁿ ᵍᵘ ⁱ ⁿ:**

guys i miss u all

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

simp

**ᶜ ʰ ᵉ ⁿ ᵍᵘ ⁱ ⁿ:**

no

no im not

**sheep²:**

is he-

**ᶜ ʰ ᵉ ⁿ ᵍᵘ ⁱ ⁿ:**

i just want some milk

**sheep²:**

decidedly not okay

lele i think you should try and sleep

**ᶜ ʰ ᵉ ⁿ ᵍᵘ ⁱ ⁿ:**

lele

i havent heard that name since i was in china

**ᶜ ʰ ᵉ ⁿ ᵍᵘ ⁱ ⁿ:**

**sheep²:**

how many of these do you have

**ᶜʰᵉⁿᵍᵘ** **ⁱ** **ⁿ:**

**sheep²:**

go to sleep

**ᶜ ʰ ᵉ ⁿ ᵍᵘ ⁱ ⁿ:**

but no

actually im sleep

**ᶜ ʰ ᵉ ⁿ ᵍᵘ ⁱ ⁿ:**

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

don’t even try and figure out Chenle just let him do his thing he’ll cry himself out and he’ll be back to normal

...if you can call chenle normal

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous:**

It's 4 something AM and the phone's vibrating like Jeno after a whole swig of instant coffee.

**jemanyjams:**

mean Injunnie 😑

btw are we keeping this gc after all?

oh 😶 [@commie](https://www.instagram.com/commie/)

**_ᶜ_ ** **_ʰ_ ** **_ᵉ_ ** **_ⁿ_ ** **_ᵍᵘ_ ** **_ⁱ_ ** **_ⁿ_ ** _changed their display name_

**chnlprsdnt:**

hll

as ur new president i decree

mnh

**sing.sang.sung:**

wait what happened

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous:**

Chenle acting his age

**chnlprsdnt:**

the astronomical on this bus is volume

**sing.sang.sung:**

wait no chenle are you ok

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

cHenLe aRe yOu OkaY

**sheep²:**

nah

**chnlprsdnt:**

what sheep man over there said 😔😔

**sing.sang.sung:**

:(( is there anything i can do?

_[seen by **chnlprsdnt** , **jaemjaeminajaem** and **4** more]_

**sing.sang.sung:**

ouch.

**sheep²:**

you guys have been surprisingly quiet

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

oh god what have you dong

*done

**chnlprsdnt:**

i heard a dick joke somewhere

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

legit is chenle okay

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

i read dick

i appear

**jemanyjams:**

that's not my nickname

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

jeno is alive !!! i appear for longer

**chnlprsdnt:**

can u 2 just fhuck already

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

please refrain from bringing my name into this

**sing.sang.sung:**

arent they like 15? 16?

💀💀

illegal

**chnlprsdnt:**

they do be teenagers

**sheep²:**

you guys scare me

**chnlprsdnt:**

u were just complaining about us being dead

**sheep²:**

doesn’t mean i’m not scared of you

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous:**

Square Sheep regretting his choice of straightness in an all-boys school.

**sheep²:**

**sheep²:**

okay shut up just because my two best friends started dating and i realized i had no chance with either of them doesn’t mean i resigned myself to a life of being the charismatic side character

**chnlprsdnt:**

so none of us are ok

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

ooh

tell us more

**jemanyjams:**

😯

tea

**sing.sang.sung:**

chenle are you mad at me

**chnlprsdnt:**

NO

ciTY OF STARSSSSS

i want boba

[@jisungie](https://www.instagram.com/jisungie/) do u wanna get boba with me

_[seen by **jemanyjams** , **sheep²** and **2** more]_

**chnlprsdnt:**

bitches stop leaving me on read

when i die tragically and u attend my funeral im hiring someone to dump my ashes on u

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

calm yo tits

**sing.sang.sung:**

oh shoot

SORRY CHENLE I HAD TO GO DO THINGS AND STUFF YES ILL GET BOBA I DID NOT INTEND TO LEAVE YOU ON READ

**chnlprsdnt:**

jeno gets butthurt easily pass it on

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

ok sorry what’s happening

**chnlprsdnt:**

jisung when do you want to go for boba

**sheep²:**

purely hypothetical but how does one get bloodstains off a bedsheet

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

Jesus Christ

**chnlprsdnt:**

have you danced without leaving room for jesus?

**sing.sang.sung:**

uh i’m free tomorrow at any time

yangyang sir what have you done

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

sorry chenle WHAT

**sheep²:**

TO CLARIFY IT IS NOT MY BLOOD

OR ANYONE ELSE’S

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

THEN WHERE DID IT COME FROM

**sheep²:**

UH

i don’t suppose i could just say that i’m a vampire?

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

did you i mean uh 👉👈 kill someone

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

murderers 🥵🥵

**sing.sang.sung:**

chenle we’re running away

**chnlprsdnt:**

the sad part is he simped for ted Bundt cake

**sing.sang.sung:**

no

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

THAT IS PERSONAL INFORMATION

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

you did what

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

istg i’m not telling Chenle anything

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

that’s worse than me simping for jeno

and that’s saying something

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous:**

I don’t get the mechanics of this relationship

**chnlprsdnt:**

but yes jisung

actually can we private chat i feel like jaemin is watching me and it is freaking me out

**sing.sang.sung:**

sure!

y’all are scary

**sheep²:**

uhhh, clorox didn’t work

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

cold water and soap

i searched it up

**sheep²:**

alright, i was about to use lemon pledge

thabk you

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

lemon... pledge?

**sheep²:**

my roommate is a clean freak

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

im still waiting for an explanation

**sheep²:**

less my roommate and more my... y’all leader??

**HALL

**sing.sang.sung:**

y’all leader

**sheep²:**

right okay punch and fake blood

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

what

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

but why

**jemanyjams:**

kink?

**sheep²:**

why not?

**sing.sang.sung:**

but how did it end up on your bed?

**sheep²:**

my friend was threatening me with it and spilled it on my bed

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

dAMN

**sheep²:**

nah it’s really not that deep

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

you need new friends

**sheep²:**

i have a grand total of six and sicheng doesn’t even like me

**sing.sang.sung:**

sicheng

co-captain of the dance team sicheng

hes scary

**chnlprsdnt:**

no sicheng greatest human

**jemanyjams:**

Sicheng prettiest boi

**sing.sang.sung:**

im afraid to talk to him tbh

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

aww look at dis kid

**sheep²:**

i’m with jisung

sicheng is terrifying

this is coming from a person who knows sicheng very well

**sing.sang.sung:**

i’m not crazy dude looks like he wants to murder us

**chnlprsdnt:**

i think it’s because jisung doesn’t know sicheng well enough rn

and because yangyang is a little shit

**sheep²:**

whY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

that’s because you are a little shit sheep kid

man idk much abt the dude except he fine as hell

**sing.sang.sung:**

uh

**sheep²:**

this is bullying

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

no, it’s true

**sheep²:**

this is heterophobia

(that was a joke please don’t kill me)

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

your life is a joke

**chnlprsdnt:**

WHOA THERE BUDDY

**sing.sang.sung:**

wh

**chnlprsdnt:**

hey where’s renjun

he’s kind of straight

somewhat

he hates men women non-binary pals and pigeons all the same

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

no, he has a personal vendetta against pigeons

[@renjun](https://www.instagram.com/renjun/) come in and give your five paragraph essay about why pigeons are evil government funded flying rats

**sing.sang.sung:**

whats wrong with pigeons? :(

they have feelings too you know

**jemanyjams:**

Injun doesn't care about feelings

**sheep²:**

alright, the majority of the stain is gone

i now have lovely light pink bedsheets

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

yangyang how did you manage to end up in that situation anyways

**sheep²:**

we were being all sciency

then they started being domestic 🤢🤢

and hendery took the chance while kun was distracted and chased me around and i think i died a little

hendery never has been very stable

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

you think you... son are you okay

**sing.sang.sung:**

confused

**chnlprsdnt:**

**kunfused

**sheep²:**

hahahaha i can’t stop laughing 😂😂 that is hilarious 🤣🤣

**jaemjaeminajaem:**

what the fuck?

**hyuck_hyuck_goose:**

did the cleaner mess with your head?

**sheep²:**

i laugh to hide the pain

**sing.sang.sung:**

we may not be that close but yangyang i worry for you

**chnlprsdntm**

^^

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous:**

Is Yangyang one of Chenle's alteregos? 🤨

**[22:36PM]**

**chnlprsdnt:**

oh to be a tapioca frog in a cup of boba

free and simply sitting

soon to die

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

i have risen from the depths of music theory (aka hell on earth) to inform you idiots that you have lost the game

**chnlprsdnt:**

ur a psychopath

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

i wasn’t aware we were playing a game

**chnlprsdnt:**

i was having a good day

we were all having a good day

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

<https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_(mind_game)>

The Game (mind game) - Wikipedia

The Game is a mental game where the objective is to avoid thinking about The Game itself. Thinking about The Game constitutes a loss, which must be announced each time it occurs. It is impossible to win most versions of The Game. Depending on the variation of The Game, the whole world, or all those....

**sing.sang.sung** :

what

wait

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

THAT MEANS WE

WE’RE DONE

**sheep²** :

WHAT’S GOING ON

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

JUST LIKE THAT WE’RE DONE

**chnlprsdnt:**

DONT FUCKING SCROLL UP

DON’T

**sheep²** :

wha-

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

do it 😏

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

IM TAKING HIM DOWN TOO TF WE AINT SPARING THE STRAIGHT ONE

YANGYANG YOU LOST THE MF GAME

**chnlprsdnt:**

JAEMIN NO

**sheep²** :

NO WHY

WHAT THE FUCK DUDE

**sing.sang.sung** :

jaemin you—

**sheep²** :

I THOUGH WE WERE HOMIES

how do you sleep at night

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

im not gonna suffer while the straight one doesn’t???

**sheep²** :

oh god how do i get rid of these thoughtz

**chnlprsdnt:**

congrats, u caused pain and suffering

**sing.sang.sung** :

you die

that’s the only way out

**chnlprsdnt:**

that was dark

**sing.sang.sung** :

ok technically hyuck started it

**chnlprsdnt:**

speaking of which, where is the little rat?

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

i’ll kill him

HYUCKIE BBY

DARLING COME HERE FOR A SECOND

IVE MISSED YOU TERRIBLY

_[ **hyuck_hyuck_goose** seen at 22:49]_

**chnlprsdnt:**

OK HES HERE

**sheep²** :

wow i feel sorry for this guy

**sing.sang.sung** :

who

**sheep²** :

all of us

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

“this guy”

**sheep²** :

we’re very pathetic people

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

speak for yourself, loser of the game

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

and this is news... how?

**sheep²** :

let me wallow in my misery

**sing.sang.sung** :

donghyuck sir i recommend you hide yourself

**chnlprsdnt:**

THERE IS NO TIME FOR MOSERY

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

*gasps* HYUCKIE !!!!!!

**chnlprsdnt:**

WE MUST KILL DONGHYUCK

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

💖💞 HI DARLING 💞💖

**sheep²** :

wait, weren’t you just defending him like two minutes ago

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

Chenle is what we call insane

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

uh i was just wondering 👉👈 how would you uh 👉👈 like to be murdered

_[ **hyuck_hyuck_goose** has left the chat]_

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

HE CANT DO THAT

**sing.sang.sung** :

I CANT DO THAT HOW COME HE CAN???

**chnlprsdnt:**

OH NO U DONT U COWARD

[ **chnlprsdnt** has added **hyuck_hyuck_goose** ]

**sing.sang.sung** :

IVE TRIED TO LEAVE THIS CHAT LIKE TEN TIMES THE HELL

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

i can’t see any of you

i’ve blocked you all

except jisung

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

r-really?

do i

**sing.sang.sung** :

oh hi donghyuck!

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

do i mean nothing to you? after everything we’ve been through?

**sheep²** :

that’s not how all works

that’s not how any of that works

**chnlprsdnt:**

wait,, jisungie 🥺🥺 u want to leave?

i’m sorry i shouldn’t have forced u into hete

**sing.sang.sung** :

nO NO IT ISNT THAT

**chnlprsdnt:**

u can leave now if u want

**sing.sang.sung** :

NO NO NO NO NO IT WAS LIKE AT THE BEGINNING WHEN I DIDNT KNOW ANYONE

im more than happy here!!! don’t feel bad!!!

besides i’d probably keep texting you if i left the chat

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

and i see one side of the lover’s quarrel

**chnlprsdnt:**

it’s not like that, duckhead mcquackface

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous:**

First lover's spat already.

Oh, kids grow up so fast these days.

**sing.sang.sung** :

this isn’t a quarrel

**chnlprsdnt:**

oh wait he can’t see me

**sing.sang.sung** :

or between lovers

**chnlprsdnt:**

jisung please transcribe my message

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

*entertained silence*

**sing.sang.sung** :

chenle says “it’s not like that, duckhead mcquackface”

please don’t murder me his words not mine

**sheep²** :

Jesus Christ you guys move fast

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

tell chenle he can [redacted] because i’ll kick his sorry [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] into next [redacted] and he can go [redacted] [redacted]

**sing.sang.sung** :

uh

**sheep²** :

what, from the bottom of my strictly heterosexual heart, the mcfuck

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

i would translate but youre too young and i cant have that on my conscience

**sing.sang.sung** :

ok i guess?

**chnlprsdnt:**

donghyuck i can still see ur messages

u just cant see ours

oh wait jisung my friend please transcribe

**sing.sang.sung** :

donghyuck chenle says all of us can see ur messages you just cant see ours

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

man if only my communication skills were half as good

**sheep²** :

did you,, make,, a meme

with your face,,,

**sing.sang.sung** :

chenle is that you??

hold on hold on give me a second

**sheep²** :

who turned on the opera

never mind they just went hella flat

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

he said give him a second we’re giving him a second

**chnlprsdnt:**

is he ok

**sing.sang.sung:**

**chnlprsdnt:**

:D

ur so cute!!

**sing.sang.sung** :

:DDD

wtf no u!!

**chnlprsdnt:**

why is there a camera?

**sing.sang.sung** :

fuck if i know

**chnlprsdnt:**

o(≧v≦)o

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

is that my camera

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

they’re so disgusting i am going to

smoosh them and give them squished you tiny balls of fluff

*squishes

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

jisung did you at any point in your life take my camera because if you i will crush each and every one of your bones

:)

**sing.sang.sung** :

uh

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

Jesus Christ, Jaemin

**sing.sang.sung** :

i didn’t know you existed until this chat happened

**chnlprsdnt:**

U DIDNT BLOCK US

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

wait

**sing.sang.sung** :

wait

**sheep²** :

And today on WatchMojo, back with Top 10 Anime Betrayals.

**sing.sang.sung** :

i was out here translating and everything

**chnlprsdnt:**

ok that was kind of funny yangyang

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

now that we’ve established that hyuckie is here

BITCH HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR DEATH ?

**sheep²** :

i am hilarious you people are just dry saltines

_[ **hyuck_hyuck_goose** has left the chat]_

_[ **chnlprsdnt** has added **hyuck_hyuck_goose** to the chat]_

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

DO YOU TAKE IT SHAKEN? STIRRED? WITH A SIDE OF FRIES?

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

i prefer to have all my bones intact thank very juseyo

**sing.sang.sung** :

are you talking about a martini or a burger

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

death

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

if i go missing, you know who to blame

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

man you psycho psycho with ur game shit imma whoop you

_[ **hyuck_hyuck_goose** has left the chat]_

**sing.sang.sung** :

pls chill it’s just a game

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

yeah ur right jisung i could be yelling at u rn for taking my damn camera

**sing.sang.sung** :

i didn’t take your fucking camera jesus christ

**sheep²** :

Jisung, my fellow normal human, I regretfully inform you that the game is literally a cause of life and death

**chnlprsdnt:**

I RESENT THAT IM PRETTY NORMAL

**sing.sang.sung** :

yeah no i don’t think any of us are normal

**sheep²** :

speaking of which, what happened to your apostrophes?

**sing.sang.sung** :

and yeah the game is kinda hhjjkjjdwk but like please no death

**chnlprsdnt:**

the sorrow of losign the game made me turn it all off

includinf my sorll check

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

chenle ur admin pls add hyuck back it’s scary without him

**sing.sang.sung** :

oh you really can’t type huh

_[ **chnlprsdnt** has added +82 28 471 3029]_

**+82 28 471 3029:**

what

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

tf why ain’t he in my contacts hyuck is that you

**+82 28 471 3029:**

Hi uh I’m Mark Lee??

**chnlprsdnt:**

SHIT MARK DIDN’T MEAN TO ADD YOU

**sing.sang.sung** :

MARK LEE ?

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

DONT KICK HIM OUT

**sheep²** :

he panicked into proper grammar

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

DONT KICK HIM OUT

DONT DO IT

[ **chnlprsdnt** added **hyuck_hyuck_goose** ]

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

WHY IS MARK HERE

**sing.sang.sung** :

hello Mark Lee

**chnlprsdnt:**

my finger slippd

**sing.sang.sung** :

hello lee donghyuck

_[ **+82 28 471 3029** changed their display name to **Mark Lee** ]_

**chnlprsdnt:**

wheres the flavour

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

hi mark !! welcome to our group chat that was made entirely on accident. none of us really know each other. haha. can i interest you in a complimentary lee donghyuck

**sheep²** :

wait are you the other straight

**Mark Lee:**

...Yes? I suppose?

**chnlprsdnt:**

everytime i see his texting my eyes b ur b

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

oh hell no

**sing.sang.sung** : what

_[ **hyuck_hyuck_goose** has left the chat]_

_[ **chnlprsdnt** has added **hyuck_hyuck_goose** to the chat]_

**chnlprsdnt:**

stop leaving or ill “accidentally” add ur older crushes

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

ted bundy is dead

**chnlprsdnt:**

but j********* isn’t

**sheep²** :

oOooOoOooOh

**Mark Lee** :

Yeah, ummm I don’t think I was supposed to be added so I’m just going to go?

Unless you guys need tutoring.

_[ **Mark Lee** has left the chat]_

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

who tf j*********

why don’t i know abt this ??

**chnlprsdnt:**

its a long long story that should probably be saved for another day

**jemanyjams:**

oh look, 00:01

it's a new day already

now spit it

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

go the fuck to sleep

**sing.sang.sung** :

wh

**chnlprsdnt:**

whoa theee buddy boy watch ur language

**jaemjaeminajaem** :

YEAH CHENLE TELL

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

"theee"

**moomin_but_make_it_murderous:**

Watch thee thine language, thou naughty childe

**chnlprsdnt:**

okay so j******************* is one of your older brothers

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

i will tear your pokemon collection to shreds

**sheep²** :

somebody get me up to speed on who’s related to who

**chnlprsdnt:**

not biological

**sheep²** :

gee, that helps

**hyuck_hyuck_goose** :

i knew i trust chenle

**jemanyjams:**

Chenle's boring whenever it counts

**chnlprsdnt:**

hEY

**chnlprsdnt:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goddammit formatting issues with the memes
> 
> also the text can sometimes be hella wack so watch out for that
> 
> @the lurkers i’m coming for you and stealing your left shoes
> 
> you ain’t slick
> 
> -iuwui

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, this is iuwui. We sincerely hope you enjoyed... whatever the fuck this is... As always, comments and kudos are appreciated! (This is meant to give us validation. Validate us.)


End file.
